(Source: husssel, via bitchesgonnabebitches)
i'm brittni,
i'm laid back and understanding. music gets me through the day. i don't have a care in the world. you'll find me with my head high, and my middle finger higher. i'm young. and i'm ready for a new experience.
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I’m never going to be queen of England, and I’m never going to be valedictorian in my class. I will never be president, or save the wild life. I’m young, and although God does have a plan for me, people around me should not expect things that are impossible at the moment to reach. I’m constantly put down by the people around me, and now my own flesh and blood. Is it normal to be put down to the extent where you want to end your life? There are a lot of questions I have, that are left unanswered. Why did I deserve this? Sure, it was my choices, but I’d take them back any day if I could. “You’re not good enough.” “She can’t do that.” “No you can’t.” “You will never be capable of that.” What do I really have left? I have maybe one friend who I tend to drift with a lot, but she’s the only person whose really been there for me. She’s the only one who really knows who I am, and the way I work. And sure I have my boyfriend, he’s always there to listen, and he makes things go away, but only temporary. He tries more than anyone in this world to make me happy. But it’s like a drug, he makes me forget about it until it happens again. What if I just give up? What if I just stop breathing tonight? What if I’ve gotten the nerve to stop living? How would she feel after I’m dead? All I know is while she’s crying, I’ll be laughing. For once she won’t laugh, and I won’t cry. I know I shouldn’t think this way, but I can’t help it. What do I want to be? Dead. And that’s the god damn truth.
